Reflections...

There is nothing I love more than being a mom... the only thing I wish I could change or do differently is to find the "pause" button once in a while. I can't believe how fast this year has gone! My little boy will be 1 tomorrow!! As I sit here thinking about all the preparations that still need to be made for his party tomorrow, my mind is wandering back to this time last year.... Aaron and I were at Evanston hospital, and baby "Boo" (since we didn't know if Micah was a Micah or a little girl) was officially on the way! The induction started at about 8 pm, and we waited. We tried to get some sleep, but anyone who has ever been in a hospital knows that that is NOT the best place to get a good night's sleep! :) Between doctors and nurses coming in to check vitals and all of the various monitors I was hooked up to, I think we got about 2 hours of decent sleep... maybe. The next day, we did more waiting. I did actually get a little bit of sleep, in between checks from the doctors, but once I got the epidural and things really started happening, any chance of resting was over. I found myself laughing to myself every time a nurse would come in and ask me to change positions... I wanted to ask them if they'd ever had an epidural before and wanted to try rolling over with what felt like tree trunks attached to the lower half of my body! :) I was asked to roll to my right side, then to my left side, then back onto my back, and then only slightly to the right or left... but I was compliant... willing to do whatever I had to do to make sure "Boo" was ok. I think I also wanted to ask if they wanted me to stand on my head at one point, but I managed to restrain myself. :) Wouldn't THAT have been a sight?!? :)

Finally, at about 6:00 pm, the doctor came in and explained why I had been flipped like a pancake for the past several hours... the baby's heart rate was dropping with every contraction, and they were trying to see if changing positions alleviated that. At this point, I was not quite to the pushing stage of labor, and the doctor said the baby was showing signs of distress. It was starting to take longer for his heart rate to go back up after each contraction, and they were keeping a close eye on that. But, he gave me the option of waiting another hour to see if labor progressed to where I could start pushing, or going ahead with a c-section right then and getting the baby out. While I would have preferred not to have had a c-section, the most important thing to me at the moment was making sure my baby was ok, so I said, "let's do this", and things REALLY started moving! I was wheeled into the operating room and prepped, while Aaron put on his scrubs and called the family to let them know what was going on. And at 6:41 pm, Micah Robert entered the world and changed our lives forever!

What a blessing he is! There just aren't words to express how amazing this first year of parenting has been! There are so many firsts... his first smile, the first time he rolled over, his first words, ("mama", which melts my heart every time I hear it!) learning to crawl, and now walk, among so many others. It has been amazing to see him develop his own personality and observe what a riot he can be at times! I love when he gets this sly grin on his face like, watch out world! :) And when he puts his head down and kicks his crawling into high gear... hilarious!

No book I could have ever read could have prepared me for how much I would love this baby who, at first, really couldn't express love back to me. It brings tears to my eyes as I think that this is how God loves each and every one of us... so unconditionally and without asking anything in return. What a tremendous gift! I've heard lots of people say that you don't really know how much you can love someone until you're holding your own child, and I've always believed them, but experiencing it myself takes that to a whole new level. One I can't ever hope to explain or describe... I only hope that if your desire is to have children one day that God blesses you with them and the privilege of experiencing love like this. And I pray that even if kids aren't your desire or God's plan for you, that you will experience His love in a deep and profound way, and that will fill you completely, as only He can.

This has been an incredible year! Micah is an incredible gift from an amazing God, and not a day goes by that Aaron and I don't praise the Lord for blessing our lives with him! Every day is an adventure with Micah, and I love that I get to be on this adventure with him.

Happy birthday, my sweet Micah! Your daddy and I love you more than you will ever know!